Gaijin! The Unforgiveable sin?!

So Wonderful! No more Famine, Cancer nor Government Waste. Nor RACISM! Except … Only one tiny problem is holding Mankind from Nirvana! Heaven on Earth! Utopia. 天国来った！ The Problem is this:
“The Racist word ‘Gaijin 外人’ exists.

To celebrate this Milestone, of our soon and certain victory over this last obstacle to World Peace and Harmony, please consider the following, offered in Penance:

Two Gaijin Fables
In 1995, my new Japanese boss and manager and I finished a wonderful meal in a fine traditional restaurant in Kobe. We put our shoes on and headed into the dark. Steady rain made it hard to navigate over the old stone street, poorly lit by a lone incandescent, high on a pole at the far side of the street. The three of us were 30+ feet into the rain, when the 40-ish hostess came out of the door. She must have barely seen our figures heading into the shadows. Without hesitation she ran with rapid, but short 4 inch steps, into the rain, in her silk kimono, and geta, risking life and limb to give me a forgotten package.
. . . “Gaijin-san, Gaijin-san, O-wasuremono!” . . .
she called to get us to look back. As she drew near, with angry faces my Japanese companions glared at her and barked,
“Gaijin desuka!!?!?!” Her face fell, in shock at her lapse into humankind: She bowed nearly to the wet ground,
“Oh, shi-tsu-rei-shimasu, gaikoku-jin san, gaikoku-jin san, Owasuremono dozo …”My Japanese friends’ angry faces turned to vindicated righteousness: “Gai-koku-jin” was just fine, but “Gai-jin” never!I felt so sorry for her .. not a bit of offense was intended and not a bit taken (by me). Still, my two male counterparts were ready to behead her.This indelible memory makes it impossible to get offended at such a harmless word.
Come on my bored ‘intelligentsia’friens, Find a *real* problem to solve!
~~~~~

Japanese pencils, beer bottles and any cylindrical object have a counter suffix:
“one pencil, two pencils three-pencils ippon, nihon, sampon …“

My 58 year old Caucasoid high schoolmate has been in Japan 53 years. I asked,

“Tim, are you Japanese yet?” “Never” he said matter-of-factly. And told this story:

Just today a 5 year old boy pointed at me in the store, and in a loud stage whisper exclaimed,
“Hora ‘ka-chan! Gaijin da!!” (Hey Ma! Look! There’s one of those gaijin!”)

I knelt down on his level and asked, ‘Gaijin-desuka?’ (Count with me here, )
“Kazoete ne: ippon, nihon”
and counted my legs then the boy’s legs, 1, 2, then 1, 2.
“ippon, nihon” “Nihon-jin ja nai ka?”

So – we both have ‘nihon’ legs, doesn’t that make us both “Nihon-jin“?

2 Comments

  1. Normand says:
    2011/04/15 at 13:11

    heya, awesome article, and an amazing understand! definitely one for my bookmarks.

  2. admin says:
    2011/10/16 at 22:07

    any one encountered any interesting “FLY-jin” anecdotes!?

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